I got a request to write a best man wedding toast on WriterAccess.com from a weightlifter. The client didn’t like the initial draft because it was filled with the snarky humor my best friend and I lovingly use on each other, so it got changed to this version. The client approved this and I assume they’re still best friends and everyone’s still married to each other on the strength of this speech.
15 years ago, we met online, on AsianAvenue. I was starting to feel like I wasn’t going to find the workout partner that I needed, since I had already tried AsianLane, AsianBoulevard and even AsianCul-De-Sac. We met up at 24 Hour Fitness and helped each other lift heavy things. When I saw that you could do a Russian deadlift AND a Romanian deadlift, I thought – this is a guy I gotta KNOW.
What started as a casual thing turned into a real friendship. We bonded over the important things in life, like protein powders, why effervescent creatine is for suckers, and how many chicken breasts you should eat in a day. SKINLESS chicken breasts.
I was trying to think about some of my favorite memories of us together to share with everyone today. But when I thought about it, I realized – that they’re all my favorite. With you, every time is an awesome time. Because when we hang out together, I can truly be myself. I know that I have someone I can vent to about a terrible day, but I also know I have someone who will race to flex with me in every mirror we can find. And when we flex in that mirror, if I start getting insecure about how defined my lats are, you always let me know…that they’re the MOST defined.
One of the things I like most about you is that you go all in. What I can see in Beth is someone who goes all in just as much. She has just as much drive, just as much heart. I couldn’t wish for anyone better to be with you. I can’t wait to see what a physically fit baby you two are going to have.
Jeff, you’re my best friend. You’re my brother from another mother. We laugh like brothers, we fight like brothers, we maximize our ATP levels – like brothers. We started our relationship spotting each other. And now, inside the gym and out, we’re still spotting each other. I love you, and I wish you all the happiness in your marriage. Everyone, let’s raise a glass to Beth and Jeff. To a wonderful marriage, to your awesome kids, and, most important of all, to skinless chicken breasts! Congratulations!
Jason Warner Talks Good 